Tainted
by NobodyKnowsMyName
Summary: When I was little, I'd been so sure that I could be worth something. That idea had been beat down and when I hit the beginning of my teen years, it was nearly destroyed. And then, that which destroyed all else saved me. Hinata, Akatsuki, Naruto and Sasuke
1. Chapter 1

**Mature content. Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

_ Screaming. Screaming and blood. All I can do is stare at the dark, dried stains on my hands and fall festival Kimono. Most of it isn't my blood. It's cold in here but I don't dare go outside; they'll kill me. I'm almost positive that there are rats in here and I'm sure it's night outside. I'm not sure how I'm sure, because the lights haven't worked for three days. I don't think the lights will ever come back on in Konaha. I'm unsure how much longer I can stand this waiting; my back is killing me from being huddled in a damp, small corner, I'm starving and thirsty, if _they _don't find me soon I might just lose it, and if they _do _find me it will mean death._

_I wonder who all survived? I know Shino is dead, as are Kiba and Akamaru. They were the brave ones, the _stupid_ ones that went running straight towards the first explosion, leaving me as I told them I was checking on my family. I had run home to see if everyone was alright to find that they had all ran to go help, leaving me with the sickening realization that I was a coward. How did that get me here; huddled in a dark, cold, wet corner? I'm pretty sure that the thing that pushed me to go hide was seeing Naruto split in two by a shuriken disguised as a citizen fleeing in terror. I'm still covered in his blood. It's too cold to remove my clothes, so here I am, _drenched _in it. I cough and it feels like I just sucked in water. _

_ I hear a sound like a rock being kicked into a pond and know someone is coming. I am suprised but not surprised that they are still here. I had been dreading this for so long that it was almost a relief for it to be finally happening. I contemplate what I can do and realize there is nothing to do but wait for them to find and finish me. Even in the blackness I know there is a shadow over me; even a weak shinobi can sense the presence of danger._

_ I do not lift my head, hoping they will think I am dead. He steps closer and my breathing falters to the point of being visible and I know it's all over. A hand cups my chin and I wait, expectantly, for him to snap my neck. I cringe when he reaches for my elbow and lifts me up. It means there will be no quick death for me. _

_ I stare weakly into his cold eyes, not having the strength to even glare. I double think that and start to believe I just don't want to endure more than is necessary; in other words, I am a coward, but I already know that. He looks at me with something resembling pity, but I know it is false, and that he is getting a kick out of watching how easily I crumble. I flinch at any movement and I am silently praying that it will be over soon._

_ "Come with me," he says; dragging me with him out into the moonless night. The streetlights are out but I was expecting that. I was thankful, actually; if there had been any light at all it would have been very painful to my darkness adapted eyes. His grip does not loosen when we arrive. Dawn is approaching, tinting the sky in a way that produces so many beautiful colors. I'm stricken with disbelief; how could something like that exist on a day like this?_

_ The light is enough for me to make out the faces of some of the men who destroyed my village. I stare at their uniforms and a twisted smile gnarls my face. Red clouds in the sky and on the ground. The smile disappears as I realize I am losing my mind._

_ "Why have you brought her here?" says the man with the demented calm. I recognize him as the leader or, at least, as the person who was the leader._

_ "I don't especially like her and I think it would be fun to toy with her for a while. I'll kill her when I'm done. If all else fails she can clean up." says the bastard who organized the destruction. I hate him enough to risk everything by stabbing him with the kunai tucked tightly beneath the bloodied waist ribbon of my Kimono. I don't because I am a coward._

_ "Get the fuck over it and clean up after yourself. Besides, think of possible consequences if she were to escape," an irritated women said from the front. She stood beside the man in charge. Her hair had a strange purple tint to it._

_ "I don't take issue with it. She can come. Just remember that it's your head if she escapes," and with that, Pain had sealed my fate._

XXXxxxXXX

"Have you ever wondered what evil's true form is?"

". . ."

"I've always believed that evil would come in the form of a woman. Think about it. Every major religion blames women for evil. There has to be some sort of reason for that."

"If you are trying to trick me into answering incorrectly I'll just refuse to speak."

"No, I'm not. I just can't believe how easily changed I was; I've been thinking about the past a lot recently and the differences are almost too much. It almost makes me think that deep down I've always been this way . . .," We stare at each other for a minute or so before I pick up where I left off, "I've been having dreams about the day you destroyed my village, Pain. It's almost as if I'm still there, which makes me wake up pissed at Sasuke. How dare he even suggest I clean his shit?"

"I can't believe you still remember that."

"Well, I do. Could you go get Sasuke for me, by the way?"

"Certainly, Hinata-sama," and with that Pain left.

The dreams had been bothering me for weeks now. Recurring dreams always meant something. It's always some memory that has some slight error to it; something that stood out. The thing that stood out most in my mind was the blood. I kept imagining myself curled up in a lot of blood. Too much blood; much more than I had actually had on me. It was the only detail in my dream that was off. I needed Sasuke to clear something up for me. He was the one who found me, so he should know. If he didn't know, I _could_ always find out. He would be a fun subject to test my new ability on, since I'm pissed at him anyways and currently I wouldn't mind his death if things went wrong.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I barely heard the footsteps on the stone in front of me.

"Hinata-sama," Sasuke adressed me as he bowed. It reminded me of a knight and a king. Yes, I was the king. My eyes were half shaded by the shadow cast by the drape-like canopy. I lightly kicked myself off my throne to stand before Sasuke. He kept his head bowed for a few moments more looking me in the eyes. It was funny how height had nothing to do with power. I mean, my power towered over his, but physically he was a good eight inches to a foot taller than me. Glancing at Sasuke, I started walking towards the end of the long hall.

"Come with me," I said, smiling at something he wouldn't get. I remembered that day down to the last detail. Including what he had said; no detail of that day was too small. Sasuke followed, of course.

Years ago, remembering what time I ate and slept and everything else didn't matter. I had become very attentive to detail since coming here.

XXXxxxXXX

_"Damn it, you fucked up again, Hina-chan!" sneered Sasuke, jokingly using my nickname. "I guess I'll just let Sasori-san use you as a puppet, if you aren't any use as a shinobi."_

_ "I-I-I'm s-sorry . . ."_

_ He lunges for me and I'm not quick enough, so he stabs me in the arm as I try, failing altogether, to deflect it. I've come to feel I deserve it. If I can't even see that his Sasori disguise had the wrong eye color I deserved his wouldn't-have-been sneak attack. If I were good enough, it wouldn't have been . . ._

XXXxxxXXX

I kept walking until we reached daylight. I hated that the Akatsuki decided to have an underground base, but they insisted it was for our safety. I didn't get it; why hide when we could crush any trouble?

I walked out into the garden, not bothering to lift the dress to keep it from dragging in the dirt. Not that the dress wasn't gorgeous, it was; expensive too, I'm sure. It was an antique gown that was tinged with the slightest bit of lavender, trimmed in pure white lace. I just wanted to be cruel. The Akatsuki treated me like a goddess and I wanted them to know just how much I cared for their worship. _Not. At. All_.

I took a seat in the full sunlight, gesturing for Sasuke to come sit beside me. When I felt him sit next to me I leaned against him. I felt him stiffen. I smiled. I loved it; loved baiting_ them _with what they couldn't have. I'd always known Sasuke was attracted to me. I'd also known what he had meant when he had said, 'it would be fun to toy with her.'

"Sasuke?"

"Yes, Hinata-sama?"

"You remember the night your attack on Konaha succeeded? The night you found me in that old, abandoned safe house?"

Sasuke pulled away immediately and I could sense that cold fear people sometimes get around me.

"Trust me when I say answering truthfully is the easiest way." I grinned wickedly. I stared directly into Sasuke's eyes to see a barely concealed horror; it wouldn't be the first time I got trigger happy and tested a flawed technique on some random person.

"Alright, I remember. What of it?"

"When you found me, was there a lot of blood?"

I saw the confused look on his face. Could I have worded that wrong?

"Well, around you, there was no blood, the village was a different story."

"I knew there was no pool of blood around me," I confirmed aloud, "There was just the blood on my clothes and hands. Ha, no dream can override my memory!"

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke had a perplexed look on his face.

"Oh, it was just this dream-"

"No, Hinata-sama, not that. I mean what were you talking about when you said something about blood on your hands?"

I scowled at him. "Yes, the blood on my hands and all the blood covering me head to toe. I knew there was no pool of blood because all of it had dried after the three days."

"Uh. . . Hinata-sama, there was _no_ blood. Well, except for the blood where the kunai stabbed you when you stood. You didn't even notice when it started bleeding. You were pretty out of it."

Silence. Utter silence as I took this in. What did he mean? What did he just _say_?

"Sasuke, there had to be blood," I choked out, my airways caving. I remember Naruto's blood splattering all over me.

"There wasn't."

"You're lying!" I screeched, knocking him over and pinning him by the throat to the ground. I activated my byakugan. I guess I would be testing it out on Sasuke after all. I let my byakugan adjust to the signals coming from Sasuke's mind; letting pictures be picked up along with the wave lengths. All of this taking mere milliseconds. It took about a tenth of a second more for these pictures and wave lengths to become memories.

I was nearly jolted out of my technique by what I saw. It was me, huddled in a corner. I heard no sound but Sasuke's mind supplied the words. It was like remembering an event and, even though you don't actually hear anything, you remember the sound so you almost hear it. I was mumbling to myself. Over and over I kept saying, "dead, dead, he's dead." I saw him pick me up first by my chin to examine who I was. He saw it was me and he decided he would bring me with him; his mind's guarded so I don't know why he decided that, his guard too strong to break. He reached for my elbow to help pick me. He noticed my kunai immediately, I honestly was surprised at my sloppiness, and also noticed that in picking me up he had made the kunai dig in to the skin. I noticed the blood start to soak my Kimono. That's when it hit me that that was the _only_ blood.

I jumped off Sasuke and curled up into a ball. I heard Sasuke gasping for air, vaguely, but mostly my attention was focused on why I remembered blood if there was no blood. I remember every detail about everything that had happend since that day; it was my new beginning. If I don't remember, that meant. . . that meant . . . Naruto could be alive.

"Sasuke . . ." I barely managed whisper.

"What?" Sasuke sounded hoarse.

"Naruto's alive. The resistance that the Akatsuki is so afraid of is definitely real if Naruto is alive. _That's_ what my dreams have been telling me? Damn it! FUCK! Sasuke!"

"Yes?"

"Get the Akatsuki ready to dispatch."

"Are you sure you aren't overreacting?"

"_What_?" my voice became icy.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, bowing his head.

"Next time you do that I'll snap you in half."

"Right." He disappeared immediately.

I undid the tight buns in my hair and let my dark hair blow freely in the wind. Where have you been all this time Naruto? What was I going to do when I found him? Kill him? Please god, don't let me become a pathetic weakling again. I visibly shook myself. Not possible.

Slowly, I went over everything that happend in my head. The citizen had become a shuriken and Naruto had split in two, I closed my eyes, and when I opened my eyes I was soaked. I let out a little yelp when I figured it out. Fuck, I had known I was a terrible kunoichi, but to be fooled by a water replacement jutsu? What the hell is my problem? I don't believe how fucking _weak_ I was! Physically _and_ emotionally! How did Hiashi not kill me? When I'd saw the shuriken I just broke down, assuming Naruto's death. I would've killed me . . .

"Hina-hime," said the chilling voice of a little girl, really she was about my age even though she looked to be about twelve, "Will I be coming with you this time? Nii-sans normally goes with you . . ." Atsuko purred as seductively as she could. Atsuko _loved_ her onee-chan.

We found Atsuko about two years after I joined the Akatsuki - we found her four months ago- when I wasn't their leader, but I also wasn't their dog anymore. Let's see . . . so if I was very close to fifteen on the day of Konaha's near total annihilation, it took me thirteen months to become an Akatsuki member, and that was two years after that . . . Eighteen. I was eighteen when we found her. Atsuko; meaning warm, kind, honest and child.

Her name was the ultimate irony.

If I had been anyone else, Atsuko would have _destroyed_ the Akatsuki in one fell swoop; _easily_. For some reason, this little boiling pot of violence liked me. It probably started with that day when we first met.

You see, on that particular mission the entire group had come with me. I was being given an opportunity to rank up, so they hid themselves and watched as I started to carry out my task. As I walked into the small, inconsequential town I felt a sudden extreme burst of power. If I had to give the energy a color, it would be an almost-black purple. It was creepy. I wasn't scared right then, just on my guard.

I searched out the other chakra signals of the people of the town. Everything checked out as normal. The people of the town were moving around doing what they normally do. That's when there was another burst of power so quick and huge that it was actually physically _painful_. I activated my byakugan and inhaled sharply. Every single person in the town was _dead_. Understand that this was Atsuko's doing, she has the ability to recreate someone's distinct chakra signature and send the decoy anywhere she likes. At the time, though, I didn't know that. I started to panic but showed no outward signs. I was so used to having to be flawless and I was worried about punishment. My occupied mind would cost me. Atsuko also had _no_ chakra signature. Want to know why? She didn't have a chakra system; like the one every other living thing had. None. So of course I didn't know she was there until she had her ungodly large sword at my throat.

She had stood in the exact spot of the flaw in my vision. I imagined some huge guy with spikes in his head and every other horror movie monster I could think of; the sword was massive. But no, instead it was a girl with white, faintly grey, skin, silvery hair, so short she had to stand on her heals to get the sword at my neck. My knees went weak. My head swam as I realized I couldn't fight someone with the kind of power this person _must_ have; they snuck up on _me_, remember? That's when the cold steel touched my throat. I knew then I had to try my best. With that I powered up, releasing visible waves of power. The sword was shattered. The attacker then elegantly flipped over me, putting themselves in my vision. I searched for my assailant and was momentarily immobilized to see the shaded figure of a women. I was so entranced to see another really good female fighter that it took me a few moments more to see why it took me some time to see the figure. The bright blue chakra points that would've made her easy to spot weren't there.

I couldn't move and I barely managed to stagger back as she advanced on me. After three seconds of brutal hits from Atsuko, I realized standing there would get me killed; quickly. As I was sent skittering back I positioned myself into my stance and started fighting back. Ten seconds later I would realize that my byakugan was useless against this freakish abomination of power, and that I was wasting chakra. Three seconds later I'd realize I didn't know much but the basic fighting without the byakugan.

Five minutes into the fight I was nearly dead and the Akatsuki was getting ready to help me. I'd screamed that it was my fight and that I'd rather die than be assissted. My opponent had tilted her head and smiled. I spat the blood from my mouth and got up. Silently, while we were staring at each other, I devised a plan and, when she blinked, started to follow through. A simple hand sign that she missed was all it would take to end the fight. My original 'durable' clone carried out the motions of being beat while I was busy making my way behind her. I pulled out a Kunai, poison shaft filled with something fatal from Sasori, and lunged so that the kunai would land perfectly on a hundred percent fatal point of her neck. When I was already celebrating my victory because I was so close to landing, she grabbed my wrist and her other hand grasped the back of my neck and shoved me into the ground so hard that I knocked down nearly an entire forest. God, that had hurt.

When she had walked casually over to my beaten and bruised body and offerered me her hand, I nearly exploded from the shock.

"_You're a shitty strategist, but you're honorable. I suppose that's what you call it, anyway_," Atsuko had said.

She had been with us ever since.

"That was a nice story . . ." Atsuko said, smiling happily.

"You wouldn't have won if you weren't a freaky, mind reading demon. My plan was flawless."

"Yeah right, you know that you're wrong. Besides, I can _hear_ when you're lying." Atsuko laughed.

I stared at the newest Akatsuki member -even though she refused to wear the 'ugly outfit' - as she laughed. She had that strange lolita-like style; even if she dressed like a normal person. Her face and body were petite and she was lovely. If I were not into men -

"Which you shouldn't be, because they don't know what a woman wants. Besides, I'd _always_ know what you wanted; no matter what we're doing."

"Haha, I hardly see you as the pitcher," I laughed.

"You're only about half an inch taller. _And_ you have all the curves. I'm the flat chested one, so I'd be the man."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. It's not happening so no need worrying about it."

"Some day, Hina-hime. Trust me."

Anyway, I'm don't swing that way, did you get that Atsuko? I can tell you're still listening.

"Fine, I'll just go bother duck butt Nii-san." Atsuko slid herself off the stone railing and I suppose went off to bother Sasuke.

I stared out into the gorgeous expanse of grassy meadow separating us from civilization. My appreciation of it's beauty was short lived as I returned back to my troubled train of thought. Luckily, I didn't have to languish in my own dark, now erratic thoughts, because as soon as I began to get sickened by my own thoughts everyone arrived. They were fully equipped with any weapon they could possibly need; we'd learned from Atsuko that being unprepared could be disasterous. Sasori had even brought his new favorite puppet; a kunoichi who had given him quite a bit of trouble a while back. Her hair was a vivid pink, the exact color of Sakura's. It wasn't her, although I'm not sure it would bother me to see my childhood rival the play thing of one of my subordinates. She's one of the people I'm sure managed to escape.

I turned to face my new family - a family, ironically, that treats me much better than my real family did- and gave them the go -ahead.

It took us an hour to get out of the fields and into a place with trees. As we jumped from tree to tree I heard someone getting closer to me. I looked from the corner of my eye to see it was Sasuke.

"What do you want?" I asked, focused on something far away from here.

"Where are we going?"

I stopped immediately. I had no idea.

"Hahaha. . . she has no fucking clue. Oh, Hina-hime, that's part of the reason I love you," Atsuko laughed while clutching her side. "What the fuck, Hinata? Your planning is still terrible . . ."

"Shut up, Atsuko," I glared. Everyone else still looked on in shock. I don't blame them; here are the two most powerful beings known and we're acting like children.

After Atsuko's laughter died down I looked at the rest of the team and saw that they were waiting patiently for instruction. _Although_, you could see the pissed expression on Sasuke and Hidan's faces; and the others' faces didn't conceal their exasperation well, either.

I turned to them and my face quickly melted into the darker, colder version of myself. It wasn't necessarily who I was; but it was a person I could so easily be. I had, at very least, gotten the part down quite well; even though there were times when I had no choice on whether it was a part I played or not. There are still times when I'm overtaken by the urge to lash out at some unnamed thing that has taken away something of mine that I held dear. It's a product of the harsh 'training' of the Akatsuki. I'm not the girl I was but . . . I am not what they think I am. I now have some . . . issues; like the one where if you get too close without my permission your chance of dying is one shy of certain, and the one where sometimes I can't sleep because of the idea that I will be attacked in my vulnerable state by one of my previous 'sensei's, there's also the one where sometimes I . . . I love the thought of pain; of death. That's why Hidan is the only man I've ever slept with. I had been on one of those blind rages and he was there, taking the damage happily when I wanted to see weakness. Sex _got me _weakness. It didn't happen often, twice exactly; needless to say Atsuko wasn't fond of him. There would've been others in the 'Death to Hidan' club but Atsuko is the only one that knows.

"I was planning on Konaha, actually, as our destination. You guys haven't heard because, even though you are all super paranoid of a rebellion, you have become lazy since you lost what you wanted when Naruto escaped; the kyuubi. I, on the other hand, have sent my clones into villages to gather information; like the now relevant information about the reforming Village Hidden in the Leaves." I stared at them in the way I knew made their skin crawl. Atsuko rolled her eyes as she listened to me pull a destination out of a hat labeled 'forgotten things.' I had, indeed, heard about Konaha, by chance, but I had long put it past me as a civilian's fancy. Right now, it was the best lead we had.

"Konaha, huh?" Sasuke looked deep in thought. He lifted his head to look me dead in the eyes. "Are you sure you can handle that?"

I probably would've killed him if not for the genuine concern in his eyes.

"I'm sure." I said, solemnly.

"Then what the fuck is there to wait for? If I remember that has-been great Village, I'd say if we stop for an hour a night we might get there in four days," Atsuko declared.

XXXxxxXXX

Fires can be so calming. For the past thirty seconds Konaha has been blocked from my mind. It isn't cold here, just as I remember it, but the fire's comforting. In less than twenty-four hours I will be returning to the place of my greatest weakness . . . but there's more. I feel like vomiting every time I think of my previous teammates, or my sensei, or my family, or even the other teams. I'm so confused that focusing on moving towards _that_ place is almost impossible. The only one who notices is Atsuko, because _outside_ there aren't any signs, but Atsuko's always been really good at knowing exactly what I'm thinking; almost like it's a_ demonic ability._

"Damn right, even in thought you are a smart ass," Atsuko responded to my thoughts; it's fine because it was directed at her anyway. No one even flinched, even though it was silent seconds before; they were used to it. "Besides, if you don't quit I'm going to destroy your village and everyone you hold dear," Atsuko baited me. She knows that the Akatsuki's already done that, she just wants me to hate them and run away with her -"Completely right, so far, keep going," - so she likes to remind me that she hasn't done that. Oh, and I can't bring Hidan with me when we run away together -"That's a given. I can't stand Hi-" she caught herself as I glared visciously, "-Can't stand him. Happy now?"

I nodded. Can you leave me to my thoughts now, Atsuko?

"Fine, I'll leave you alone." And with that she went away with her dance-like steps. I liked to think of myself as graceful but she made me look like a newborn giraffe. Making a Hyuuga look clumsy is no small feat, either. I sighed when she was completely out of view. She meant well; she probably thinks the incident that happend three and a half years ago doesn't bother me at all. She probably likes me because I'm so detached, so cruel. Sometimes I get stuck in a state of mind where I believe I'm evil so that is what I become. I was having one of those days, that had happend to have taken two long months, when I had called Sasuke out to the garden, only to be woken up by the thought of Naruto. It pissed me off that, in a way, Naruto was still saving me.

Exasperated, I got up; knocking over a good bit of supplies. I needed to talk to somebody, and there was only one person I could go to.

XXXxxxXXX

"Hinata-sama, what are you doing here?"

"I need to speak with you." I noted he was in his sleeping bag, probably trying to sleep. Sounds like a reasonable explanation to me . . .

"Alright," Sasuke reached to get his shirt rebuttoned; had to hand it to him, his body's fantastic. I turned away while he redressed himself so I could zip closed the tent's entrence. I turned to see Sasuke staring at me.

"What?" I asked, uncomfortable; he looked so serious.

"Nothing. . ."

"What is it?" I was getting irritated. I hated when people refused to give me a legitimate answer.

"It's just that, the last time you came to talk with me about an issue, it hasn't happend for about two and a half years," Sasuke stared at me, trying to see the reasons behind my eyes.

"Two years, seven months, twelve days, eight hours, fifty-two minutes . . ." I looked at my hands because I knew his reaction to my impeccable account of time, which I'm sure would come across as obsession, would probably be bad. I was just really good with details . . .

"How the hell-"

"My memory is something close to perfection; faultless. Anyway, yes, I need to talk with you."

I try to wait patiently as he yawns and gets out from under his sleeping bag. I'm about to explode with words when he finally gestures for me to tell him what's going on.

"It's Naruto," I saw how his face fell with that one word, "Yeah. . . yeah, I _knew_ you would have the same feelings I did about him! Well, maybe not exactly, but still. He's going to be our _enemy_,our_ target_, when we find him. I haven't had to deal with my childhood for years and now, being so close, I just - I just . . . Damn it! I was so weak, and no one even knew I existed, I was a wall flower! I could be seen but I wasn't a person! You know how many people knew what I was beyond skin deep? NO ONE! When I was little I was sure that if anyone would see that I had a fucking personality beneath my weak little _perservering_ shell it would be Naruto! Yes, I tried to get better to be noticed. Yes, I even became slightly louder, so that people might hear me when I spoke. Yes, I was a nice girl that you could depend on, but _DAMN IT I'M NOT JUST SOME THING!" _By now there were tears rimming my eyes. I could feel the snap that was so _fucking close_. "He didn't have the chance to know me. And I'm so afraid that if I see him I'll become a part of the scenery again. There's just _so much_ I don't get! I have so many feelings that just don't go together!" Then Sasuke, _the Sasuke_, the one who put me through hell to make me stronger, put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me.

And then I felt it. About time . . . I had thought that I could at least have held back the breaking point for a few years more.

My nails dug into the floor of the tent so hard I knew they had to be bleeding. Slowly, the tears started to fall. When the first tear hit the cheap, blue plastic, that's when. That's when I knew there was no turning back. I couldn't pretend that I had just wanted to freak him out, make him think that I wanted him to break down and confess he was worried about the enemy, couldn't put this on him at all. As soon as I realized that, I didn't hold back. That day, Sasuke saw the only thing that I wanted to hide from the rest of the world, my only secret; weakness. I think I cried for hours and that scared me; it's the first time since Konaha's destruction that I didn't have complete recollection of how much time I spent on what. My focus was so off that only after being involved in this conversation for ten minutes did I realize I was giving Sasuke information that had been mine alone for my entire life without any thought. I almost stopped until I comprehended that I felt lighter than I've ever felt in my existance.

XXXxxxXXX

"Earlier I couldn't tell if you were talking about Naruto or about your life in Konaha." Sasuke said into my ear. His arms were wrapped around me and his chin was on my shoulder. His back was propped against the tent and my head was leaning back against his chest. I would object if I weren't so tired from my utter meltdown, he had no excuse. After I had finished crying I had found that I had crawled into his lap and I had tried to get up only to understand that my legs refused to function properly so I fell backwards onto his lap again. I apologized and tried to get up again but he had wrapped his arms around my waist and told me I wasn't going anywhere. So that's how I got here. It took me a minute to remember that Sasuke was waiting for a reply.

"Oh, right, I don't believe it was about either of them. It was everything. You have to think that I haven't shared what I felt with anyone since mom died. I'm sorry that it was you that I threw all that on."

"I didn't mind," he said as he rubbed circles on my hand.

"No, really," I paused for a minute as I let reality re-enter my thoughts, "I'm going to really regret that as soon as I walk out of here."

Sasuke tensed. Curious reaction . . .

"Why would you regret it?" His hand had stopped in it's tireless circular motion; I noticed this only because I had been staring at his hands and the patterns they traced for the last few hours. Convenient that this happend on the last day of the trip when everyone gets a full night's sleep to prepare for the difficulties ahead.

"Because I don't trust you not to tell this to anyone. Tomorrow, I'm sure that I will have to do something to reinforce my role as leader. I won't use you as a example because, although you would have told on me, in the end you did help me," my tone was matter-of-fact. There was no accusation and no, overall, emotion.

"Hinata . . ." Sasuke's voice sounded more choked than when I had actually _choked_ him.

"Hinata-sama to you." I know it seemed cruel to do this, but I didn't want to lead him on. He liked me; a lot. It would be worse if I left without making myself clear. Feelings are something I don't like to deal with, so I simply refuse to feel them if I think it will lead to any type of pain.

Sasuke's face went from a hurt confusion to a cold, blank mask. "I see. . . I apologize Hinata-sama. Would you like me to help you to your tent?"

I nodded. I expected him to be rough and angry when he helped me up; spiteful. He still helped me up as though I were made of broken glass; something you didn't want to be so close to because it hurts and something that you wanted to keep from shattering further so it wouldn't become any sharper.

I discovered that his help was only minimally needed, so I let him leave when we got close enough to my tent. As soon as I laid down I knew sleep would come any second. I let my eyes close and I saw orange and yellow on one side, black and red on the other . . . Life from now on would be a whole new kind of hell.

XXXxxxXXX

"Get up, Onee-chan! We're over an hour late! Do you want somebody to find us?"

I could've killed Atsuko at that moment. I hadn't needed someone to wake me up since I turned seven, and believe me when I say I don't miss it. I regretted immediately my decision to try to ignore her. That kick to the leg is going to hurt for a long time.

"See, Atsuko, this is why I'm not interested in you," I grumbled.

"Oh? I thought you were against the idea of being gay."

"No; you're just unpleasant."

Atsuko laughed good naturedly. I glanced at Atsuko. I really wasn't at all against same sex relations; to me, sex is sex. I don't need any kids so I don't have to have a male partner. But, if it did turn out that way, Atsuko really _would_ turn out the pitcher. I'm definitely the female in intimate relationships. I've always been incredibly open minded to ideas, so this thought didn't disturb me as it would've disturbed Hinabi and Hiashi.

"Huh, that's interesting. You're pretty damn different, Hina-chan," Atsuko observed; completely serious.

While she was absorbed in her own thoughts a sharp throbbing had started in my head that slowly started to numb me. I tried to yell for Atsuko but I had no control over my voice and, though I was trying with all I had to scream for Atsuko, no sound at all was coming out. I guess she'll know something is wrong when she hears the thud of me hitting the floor. I start falling and feel relief in the fact that soon someone will know that I need immediate help.

That's when I saw Atsuko go down.

My heart raced as I understood the pain that had started at the base of my neck; poison or a paralyzing dart. We were under ambush. My mind fought the overwhelming exhaustion to buy as many precious seconds as possible. At the very least I could use my minimal control over my mobility to make a life saving hand sign. This simple jutsu would wipe out enough chakra to knock me out directly afterwards. With difficulty, I managed to get my hands together. My fingers took many of the precious seconds of my time to form the correct positions. Blackness started streaking my vision. Now or never, I suppose. The otherwise easy to perform disguise-type justsu was complete. I thought about how much had been taken out of me by my meltdown if all I had the strength to do was _that_ as I drifted off into either sleep or oblivion.

Damn you, any and all, that have ever made me feel. It ends up hurting everyone. Sasuke . . . this failure is your fault . . .

And mine . . .

XXXxxxXXX

God, that was the best night's sleep I've had in a while. I moved my arms to stretch. It took me a split second to comprehend that I was restrained and everything came rushing back. It was dark and cave-like in here, but there was a stream of light coming from a hole high up on the dark wall that allowed me my eyesight. I turned to see that at a glance my team was unrecognizable. I had left signs of who they were that would be caught by only me. They were those oddly specific details that no one else in the world noticed aside from myself. The only one that you could never guess who it was is me. I always choose a disguise that looks similar to myself, but obviously not me, for every detail is similar but different. That's what had fooled even Sasuke when I had been training with him and we were testing our abilities to hide our identity. He had come behind me, grabbed my shoulder, said, "Damn, you didn't even try," saw it wasn't who he had at first thought, apologized, and left. I found him every time; he was bad about leaving tiny traces of who he was for all to see. I was good, extraordinary, even, at hiding who I was.

I looked around to see that no one else was up. I observed that they had got everyone, even Sasori and Pain. The people that attacked us must be highly skilled if they could sneak up on Pain, _and_ get Sasori with a fucking poison dart- ironic - without him being accustom to that level of toxicity. He's a fucking puppet! How the hell did these people put him under? All of a sudden I remembered that it didn't matter because I was fully recovered; as soon as Atsuko woke up we would be unstoppable. I decided to sleep for a few minutes more when I heard someone moving.

"Crap, you heard me. I thought I could manage a few more minutes of sleep before you realized I was up, too, but I was just so uncomfortable in all the ropes. I just had to take them off. I didn't think they'd make so much noise. . . They're chakra restraining ropes so they don't affect me, but you would have had a hell of a time getting them off."

Atsuko came out from around the corner, rope in hand. She looked like normal because, well, jutsu didn't work on her.

"Atsuko, you really are incredible." I rolled my eyes at the demon. Well, she might not be a demon, but she wasn't human. Same with Hidan.

"I'll leave you here to rot if you compare me to him again. I don't care how pretty you are."

I raised an eyebrow. At first she pretended to glare at me but eventually she just shrugged.

"Maybe I lied. So? I'm sure you lie," she joked.

I stopped breathing. Time seemed to stop as I felt the crushing weight of being discovered. Atsuko was talking to me but I was too far from myself to hear what she was saying. A sharp sting on my cheeks woke me from my mental collapse.

"Hello, are you alright? Hinata!"

That little shock right there brought me back to earth. She'd never used my real name before. She shook my shoulders.

"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry, sorry. I just felt really . . . sick for a minute there."

"Oh, good. I'm glad that's all. You became all grey-white; scared the shit out of me."

"I'm fine. Now, can you untie the ropes," I asked, rattling the heavy, vine-like ropes around my wrists.

A wicked smile twisted Atsuko's face. Shit. Not good.

"Or we could play a little game. You must like it rough if you fucked Hidan, and the handcuffs are free; can't get much better than that, can we?"

"_Or_ you can untie me. Now, Atsuko," I demanded. I was starting to become concerned she would wake everyone up and that she might say something to get me in a hell of a lot of trouble.

"Oh, uglier version of Hina-chan, no need to be so stern," Atsuko was slowly lowering herself onto me and was soon straddling me, "It wouldn't be all that bad."

"Atsuko, the 'cuffs' are life draining monstrosities. Get off or I am going to bash your head into one of the sharp rocks in here," I bluffed. I knew Atsuko caught my bluff when she smiled that sickly sweet smile of hers and got even closer to my face.

"Oh, Hina-chan, you wouldn't be doing anything of the sort with your hands tied like this. It sucks for Onee-chan, doesn't it?" Atsuko leaned even closer towards me.

I sighed. Oh well, I guess I was going to be raped by a four foot, seven inch girl. Atsuko's arms wrapped around me and she leaned her head into my shoulder.

"Wow, you are no fun, Hina-chan," Atsuko whispered into my ear as she cut the rope with her hands that were now behind my back.

Atsuko quickly lifted herself off me, holding the rope, and smiled. And, believe it or not, I laughed. I thought it was funny that she had acted the way she did just to cut the ropes on my wrist. She certainly didn't let anyone get in the way of her fun.

"You're a weird girl, Atsuko."

"And you're normal? Who gives up and just thinks, 'Oh well, I'm going to be raped' like you did? You have issues," Atsuko scoffed. She smiled, though, and helped me up. "Sorry I freaked you out. I just couldn't resist. Your expression made it worth it. Go ahead and hate me for a week, but in the end your face made it worth it," she laughed. She started laughing so hard that you could barely hear when I joined in.

"Shut the hell up," a voice grumbled from somewhere in the corner. I couldn't even recognize the voice it was so twisted up with sleep.

"Actually, I won't shut up, whoever said that because everyone needs to WAKE UP! WAKE UP, EVERYBODY!" I started quietly shouting, grinning at my stupidity.

Atsuko hit me in the stomach so hard that it knocked the breath out of me.

"What was that for?" I half yelled at her.

"Shh, you're going to get more than the attention of the people in here if you keep going on like that," Atsuko whispered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Konan had got up, glanced at her tied wrists, folded into paper, and slipped out of her chains; ropes, whatever you'd like to call them. She needed no more than the chakra a person needs to live to get out of that trap, so it worked. The ropes only prevent above normal- normal for average citizens- chakra levels. If you have an escape technique that uses almost no chakra then you were fine. Most of us . . . wouldn't have been.

"Should we pretend to still be bound and sleeping until they get here, or should we go explore our kidnapper's base," Konan asked; all business.

"Well, first we need to take care of the people that wouldn't be _pretending_ to be asleep and tied up."

She nodded and went about waking and untying everyone. I spun around to say something to Atsuko, and there he was; awake. Even with his pure black eyes covered in a false blue you could still see the utter hatred and betrayal. Sasuke had heard us. He'd heard about Hidan. I met his glare with a blank face; even though, on the inside, I was horrified and I felt guilty. The fact that I didn't understand what I was feeling made my mouth twist into a slight frown. On the outside it probably looked like I was slightly unhappy at something I had found out. Inside, Pandora's box had been opened and someone had already robbed hope from the box. Among the chaos inside me only the weakest of evils escaped to be seen on the outside; like a frown.

I did all that I could do then; I smiled. I pretended to not notice his look that showed how he felt; that he'd been let-down, deceived, double-crossed. I smiled and untied him in as brief a manner as possible.

I turned around and heard him say something that made me stop cold.

"I was so sure you weren't any different now than you were then. That's why I put up with your cruelty, why I took you with us that day when no one else saw a reason to: because I was _sure_ that you were the same person somewhere under there. The person I saw way before you realized that you wanted that person to be seen. You were never a wall flower to me. I saw a person when I saw you, Hinata. You weren't some thing that kept trying and was polite, quiet, and nice. I have -had- always saw that there was more to you. And now I don-"

A sharp thud and red painted cave floors.

No one had been paying attention to what Sasuke had been whispering, but everyone turned around when they heard the sound of me punching him with everything I had. Blood had been coughed onto the ground when he collapsed into himself. When he didn't stumble off my fist that was still at his stomach I knew he was out. At first I was pretty sure I'd killed him, until I saw that he was breathing. Emotionlessly, I glanced down at him and then carelessly threw him off me.

"Not that I'm not tempted to occasionally just punch Sasuke in the gut, but, why the hell'd you do that? There are better times for that," Atsuko scolded me.

"He was being innapropriate," I was entirely unsure of why I'd hit him, actually, "If the need arises I'll heal him later."

Atsuko looked doubtful but she nodded.

" 'Kay. You're carrying him, though. Anyways, what are we going to do?"

Well, I sure as hell didn't want to stay here.

"I guess we're heading out-"

The door creaked open. I signaled for everyone to blend in or hide. I absorbed into the wall, taking Sasuke with me. I studied the approaching shadow carefully. Female, short hair, multiple weapons' satchels. She had the on-guard walk of someone well experienced. Upon coming into view I knew immediately who it was. She was maybe two or three inches taller than me, pink hair, green eyes; Sakura Haruno. I analyzed her every movement with my now activated byakugan. She was moving purposefully towards something; sure steps like that of a jounin rank at least. It didn't take long to see she was heading towards the cut ropes left behind by some idiot that I plan to thoroughly thrash later.

As she was walking my byakugan picked up the slightest tilt in her right foot. She was going to turn around and try to catch me off guard by making a show of going to exam the rope.

"SHE KNOWS!"

Instantaneously everything, except the unconcious Sasuke, was moving. I was surprised that everyone was coming at her. She had no chance now.

Since everyone was charging her, I pulled Atsuko and myself from the fight. She dodged amazingly well for everything that was being thrown at her, but with all her attention focused on dodging the never ending rain of sharp objects she couldn't possibly evade the oncoming death blow from Kakuzu. I was about to intervene for the sake of fairness when Kakuzu went in for the kill. I sighed and closed my eyes. Then I heard a scream of agony.

It was Kakuzu's. I opened my eyes to see Sakura had grabbed the black threads that Kakuzu was going to use to kill her and used them to drag him in front of her to absorb the blows. Deidara's bomb alone took out two hearts and a third heart had been pierced through with the tail of one of Sasori's puppets. Kakuzu violently removed the spear-like extension from his now useless heart. He turned to face his opponent. Everyone recognized that it was now a battle between Kakuzu and Sakura so I wouldn't have to intervene for the sake of a fair fight.

"You pepto bismol BITCH! You'll start repaying for the damages with your heart."

Sakura merely fell into her fighting stance. Kakuzu was in a rage, so I knew who would win this fight. Sakura had the sense in this battle, and Kakuzu would get sloppy in his anger anyways. If I didn't want to lose a person I would intervene now.

What I wanted more, more than preserving the life of a teamate, was to see how far my secret childhood rival had come.

**This story is my apology to everyone who has been waiting for me to update my other story. Weird stuff happens to me and I just got internet back on my new computer.**** I will have something up for that story soon. **

**As for this, I hope you like it, because I really like it. It's been an idea I've had for months now and I finally got around to writing it and it's turning out really good. I apologize again for my prolonged abscence.**

**Reviews make me happy but I'm not forcing you to leave reviews. It drives me crazy when people put a 'price' for the next chapter. So please review, because it makes me happy and I feel appreciated when someone takes their time to write something nice, but you don't have to. Normally I wouldn't be so pissed about this but one of my favorite stories is holding a fifty review price and their settings are for log in only so I can't just type in a different name every five seconds. Grr. . .**

**Anywho, I hope you liked it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I have no excuse this time except that I miss my microsoft word 2007 so I have been in no mood to write. Still, when inspiration strikes you can't hold a grudge against your not as good writing program. Enjoy!**

**Dear Reviewers, I appreciate all your comments. Some where really funny and others where very helpful. And don't worry, I will eventually use the other Akatsuki members more. And I can't help making the characters O.O.C. to some extent because the characters **_**have**_** changed a lot, so I can't really keep them the same and continue with the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters. Geez, this is so unnecessary.**

**BTW, Oh my god guys, I am SOOO SORRY! Instead of posting the actual chapter two, I posted my outline for the story. So if any of you read that I am so ungodly horrified and sorry! It may or may not turn out in such a way, so . . . :'( Again, I am SO sorry!**

As soon as the fight was about to begin I knew that Sakura wouldn't live to leave this cave. Not because Kakuzu was going to win, but because Kakuzu had all but removed his disguise when he attacked with his signature move. On top of that, with Sasori's puppet attack it was rather obvious who we were. Now, even though this is what I'd already kind of been planning, Sakura would be killed for certain. We couldn't let the resistance know the Akatsuki was the one they captured. That would considerably diminish our chances. Although they would still be high, a good leader doesn't do careless things because it all looks like we're in the clear.

Still, for now I'll just sit back and enjoy the fight. Atsuko, the unconscious body of Sasuke, and I all sat propped against the wall. I noticed everyone else doing something similar. The difference being they gave the fighters much more space.

Sakura looked as confident as I remember her being. She looked every inch Tsunade's apprentice. Except that she was obviously much, much better than her old teacher.

"How can you say that? We haven't even seen the fight yet?"

As soon as Atsuko spoke, Sakura's and Kakuzu's eyes snapped briefly towards us.

I sighed. Their eyes flicked to me. I noticed Sakura's had widened then quickly returned to normal. For some reason, that was such a funny reaction. I barely noticed my crazy chesire cat grin. I shook myself. This type of thing can't happen right now. _Crazy_ can't happen now.

"I didn't _say_ it, Atsuko. But, yes, I suppose I can't be certain. It's just a prediction for now. Let's just watch the fight."

Atsuko nodded.

I turned towards the two fighters and noticed they both had their eyes glued to me. I locked eyes with Sakura and I swear I saw her shudder. That made me raise an eyebrow. I turned then to look at Kakuzu. His expression was absolutely disgusted and horrified. What the hell? I looked around for an explanation.

Every face was the same. Hidden panic started to boil up towards the surface.

"Atsuko, what's going on?" I turned to ask.

When I saw Atsuko's face I screamed, and kept screaming.

No eyes, burned skin, a one-side screwed upwards, full-toothed smile.

**XXXxxxXXX**

"Hin- I mean onee-chan! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Whose voice was that? Whatever, it isn't my concern.

"You're missing the fight! Come on! Stop screaming, psycho!"

No, wait, I did know that voice. It was . . . Atsuko's!

And with that everything came back into focus. Well, slight focus. Scratch that, everything was hazy. My chest and throat hurt and there was a clashing metalic sound in the background. It took me about three seconds to realize I was screaming. I had to find my vocal cords before I could stop.

I glanced around, confused as hell, and only then remembered where we were. Everyone in the cave was staring at me from the corner of their eyes, including Sakura and Kakuzu. The cave was utterly silent. Oddly silent, considering the fight going on.

I felt a little sick, yet again, for the lost time. I also felt a little more than sick at the thought of having a total black out for seconds. And yes, I felt sick at the thought of that _face_. It meant that _it_ was really close to happening. Absolute Madness.

"What happend?" I noticed the hoarse quality to my voice. Atsuko's mangled face flashed before my eyes and I cringed.

"Oh good, you haven't completely lost it yet."

What? She knew about it?

"Don't worry about it. You would just be bothered if I told you. It's nothing to concern yourself with," she reassured me.

"Alright? Anyways, what happend?"

"Well, you suddenly had this slap happy, fucked-out-of-my-mind type grin, then you were like, 'let's just watch the fight,' and then your head fell back really fast and you started screaming."

"Hm, and how did that affect the fight?"

Atsuko laughed, which warrented a most deranged expression from Kakuzu. It reminded me of the deranged face in my black out.

I see. Kakuzu would be dead very soon. He had one heart left.

"Yep, you got it. By the way, that face you keep picturing is fucking creepy, so please try to stop thinking about it."

Why don't you just stop paying attention? Atsuko sighed and just nodded.

My eyes quickly became fixed on the fight. Sakura was just buying time now. I'm sure she's thinking something like, 'keep him alive as long as I can so help will come soon, as long as they're insisting on a fair fight.' I can't have that now, can I?

"Alright, that's enough Kakuzu! You too, pepto bismol," I said with a smile I hoped looked a little less crazy and a bit more friendly.

Sakura couldn't look any more confused, and she wasn't the only one. Kakuzu still looked to be in a blind fury. Neither of them dropped their weapons. I sighed. Fine, I guess I'll do this the hard way. I walked right up to the two and faced Sakura.

"You'll have to forgive Kakuzu, he's the most ill-tempered one of us," I said with another sickeningly sweet fake smile. Sakura's eyes narrowed.

"I doubt that. I'm sure there are a lot of 'ill-tempered' people in the Akatsuki," Sakura sneered. I must say it was as much a shock to hear her voice as it was to find out she knew who we were. Not that I'm going to let her keep thinking that. This plan really needs to work, so I guess I'll just make up hopefully believable stuff as I go.

My eyes widened and I put up the most innocent expression I could that wouldn't look fake. I suppose that equated to a look of almost innocent.

"I don't know what you're talking-" and then, inspiration, "-Alright, there are a lot of former Akatsuki members here, yes. But hear us out, not that you're in any position not to but, anyway, the people here are all different from when they were in the Akatsuki. Most of them are-" a faux glare at Kakuzu, I could see the crazed grin this elicited. He new that he'd have Sakura's heart soon enough, even if not now, "but Kakuzu is our newest member, so please don't judge us all on him."

"You're full of shit, you know. The Akatsuki robes were hanging out by your camp," Sakura told me blankly.

Atsuko exploded into laughter.

"Holy fucking shit! Did I not tell you to get rid of those ugly pajamas?" uncontrollable, gasping laughter, "And it was made so much better because this whole time you had this super pissed fake smile on your face because Kakuzu wasn't being helpful and Pinky over there wasn't as stupid as you wanted her to be!"

Sakura's eyes widened as she stared at Atsuko. I decided I could still work with this.

"Will you shut up? I just wanted her to get that we weren't after them!" I pretend raged at her. Atsuko grinned.

"Well, you shouldn't have ambushed her then, onee-chan, if it was trust you wanted" Atsuko grinned wickedly again as she as much as declared that she didn't want to play along.

"Fine, you have me there," I agreed simply. We'd sort of already lost any chance of getting to know the resistance through fake friendship. Fuck it, go for broke.

I turned to Sakura. "If it got us all out of here safely, I'd have been willing to kill you," I informed her. I inwardly smirked at this. I'd been willing to sacrifice Kakuzu just to see what Sakura could do. I didn't exactly care about everyone getting out safely, as long as I got what I wanted at the end. 'Shame I had to stop the fight now, since help eventually _would_ be on the way if she didn't report back soon enough.

Sakura seemed to consider that for a minute. And then, she said something that utterly shocked me.

"I guess that's what I would've done. I suppose that, even though you are a dirty little liar, you're not all bad. You could have all kept attacking me when Strings over there decided he wanted to fight me alone, but you didn't. What could I call that? Hmm. . . honorable sounds _sort of_ right."

Strings and Pepto Bismol, huh?

More importantly, there was that word again. _Honorable_. People are fucking crazy. I giggled, which wasn't well received by anyone in the cave.

I stared fixedly at a dark corner in the cave as I considered this, my face frozen in thought. My concentration chipped when Sakura appeared in front of me, rather too close in my opinion. My eyes widened and I made a step back, but I still didn't feel like looking away from my corner as I thought. Another chink in concentration, I looked Sakura in the eye as she made a move towards me. Sakura was staring at me intently and, likewise, I had her in my field of vision, so I didn't miss the brief flicker of shock that flashed across her face. She knew something was off with the way I looked; fake. Quite the physical likeness between Hinata and I, right, Sakura? Well, the person you knew isn't here right now, not really.

"I'm going to go get the decision making people and see what their say is on this."

And like that, without me even moving to stop her, she left.

Only after the door shut did I look away completely from the spot I'd been staring at.

"Shit! She's gone. What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with _her_? We don't have any restraints, we can easily get out of here." I looked towards the entrance and immediately took back the part about getting out easily. There was more than enough explosive pieces of paper to trigger an alarm. My head was screaming at me. Just because you wanted to ponder something, you ignored your enemy like an irritated child.

You fucked up again, Hina-chan. Do you know what happens when you fuck up, when you stop thinking emotionlessly, when you show weakness? I shook myself. Red, hazy madness was creeping up on me.

"Onee-chan, don't worry about it." Atsuko grinned.

"And why shouldn't I?"

"Because she isn't going to get us killed. Well, that isn't what she was thinking when she left."

I stopped pacing, something I just realized I was doing, to thoroughly process what she'd just said. Atsuko was a mind reader, of course. The thought wasn't even tinged with excitement because I shouldn't just be thinking about it. I'd forgotten.

"What all was she thinking?" I asked quietly. I was losing it.

"Just know that you can't trust half of it. She realized at some point in our conversation that I was a mind reader. Then again,about trusting her, there's only so much a person can do to protect their thoughts. On top of that, the more you want to hide something the more likely it is to be known. Did you notice how Sakura kept looking at me?"

I nodded, even though I hadn't really known that it was Atsuko Sakura kept looking at. I was again shocked by how good Sakura was. She'd found out in mere minutes.

"Anytime she thought something she shouldn't have, she looked at me. That's how I'm going to determine truth from lies. She kept thinking, 'Hinata,' everytime she would look at you. She isn't sure if it's really you, as a matter-of-fact she doesn't think it's you at all when she thinks logically, but she's thoroughly disturbed by the resemblance. She doesn't believe almost a word you've said, but she thinks we hold no real threat against all of them and she can't not believe you because you look so much like you."

I nodded so that she'd know I'd heard and understood what she was saying.

That was when I hit the wall. If I didn't sleep soon it wouldn't be safe. I wouldn't be able to fight it off.

"Atsuko, how long until she returns?"

"Go take your nap, Hina-chan. She'll be a couple hours."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks."

**Atsuko's POV**

Not good. Hinata was about to go crazy.

Emotions didn't bode well when it came to Hinata. They never amounted to anything good. They're fun while they last, but the end of it is rather . . . unpleasant.

Hinata herself was aware of it, but at the same time she doesn't know the half of it. She thinks that she does some slightly 'bad' things and, being Hinata at heart, that meant she instinctually tries to put it off. No, not what happens, 'bad' doesn't cover what happens. Hinata stays conscious for the first minute of the Madness. Madness is the word Hinata always uses to think of it, so I just kind of picked it up. When Hinata fizzles out, the monster the Akatsuki created unleashes itself.

I'm not saying an emotional monster made up of Hinata's tortured subconscious, I mean an actual monster. After all, the Akatsuki had manged eight of the nine tailed beasts, right?

You see, when Hinata had read Sasuke's mind, sort of, he didn't let her know the reason they took her. The real reason, not the fake exchange between Pain and Sasuke about how they didn't need her. I could've killed him when he implied he took her just because he liked her. I don't know if that's the case now, -he's extraordinarily good at hiding thoughts- but it wasn't true at the time.

It all started out looking for someone to test the combined effects of the demons. The Akatsuki wanted to see if the monsters worked well enough together so that they didn't tear their host apart. They thought they could remove the beasts before Hinata could learn how to use them. It turns out they won't be removed. Hinata can't use them yet, not really. She doesn't know they exist anymore, Jinchuuriki, let alone that she is one. The only effect so far is the loss of mental and emotional control, like how she suddenly has so much more difficulty with time, and many new, strange abilities. She's only had the monsters two months. Oddly enough, I sneered visibly, Hinata became the leader around this time as well. The fear made them make her leader. Personally, I thought she ran things well, if a little chaotically.

Everyone had expected she would die soon after, some still think it will be any day now. Except that they don't know how strong Hinata is. She has so much power she doesn't even hear the constant screeching of the demons. I hear it, through their thoughts. The 'useless' Hyuuga ideal of control that she uses unconsciously is what keeps _them_ locked up and_ her _in charge. Emotions unbalance that control. Hinata is currently very unbalanced.

She does things in this state of unbalance that makes her nightmares of the past seem kind. It's happend four times. That was how Deidara, Kisame, Zetsu, Madara, and Sasuke's former teammates, Karin and Suigetsu, died. That's a lot of S-rank nin to die in two small months, am I right? There would be many more deaths if not for the short time and our base's distance from civilization. Which is good, because when she killed people it wasn't done mercifully, to put it nicely. What's funny to me is that not one of them even managed to touch her. She was terrifying. Eventually I suppose the tailed-beasts have their fill of gore and teeter off to a nice nap. Hinata always wakes up to recall the first minute.

To this day no one has told her, everyone treats her like a Goddess, and they all constantly tip-toe around her. Out of fear. I want to tell her, but out of curiousity, or perhaps nosiness. The question that tugs at me the most is, how did she manage to kill Madara so easily? He supposedly used the tailed beasts like pets back in the day. The pompous imbecile didn't perceive it as a possibility for him to die and yet he was mauled beyond recognition, just as easily as the rest.

The Madness was devestating. It got people killed and there is no proven way to stop it.

I had a theory of how to stop this, the oncoming Madness, but I would have to be right next to Hinata at the exact moment of the snap. It's just a theory, so it might not even work, but we're all dead if she snaps anyway.

The sound of Sakura's thoughts jerked me from my musings.

_I can't believe him. I said that she 'looked a little bit' like her! Not, 'it's Hinata, let's trust the whole bunch because obviously they're all nice since they're with Hinata.' Damn idiot, he's gonna get us killed. This isn't enough people to fight them if they decide to attack._

Her thoughts had an unpleasant sharp edge to it. I didn't like the feeling of listening to her thoughts.

I looked down at the sleeping girl by my feet. I wish Hinata would hurry up and change back to normal, it was so unfair to have to look at her fake image when I'd been having such an unfun day.

I tuned into her thoughts unthinkingly. Her dreams were etched with worry about the Madness, just like her constant worry over it when she was awake. Not enough worry.

"Onee-chan, time to wake up," I nudged her with my feet. I saw her dark eyelashes flutter and knew she would be wide awake enough in a moment to be prepared.

"What? Why?" she mumbled. I smiled. Hina-hime is so cute, even though she doesn't want to be.

"The Resistance is right down the hall."

And like that Hinata was on her feet. Her mind was still clouded with a slight red haze and there was a high pitched, whistle-like noise underneath it all. She was really in quite a precarious state. Her mind, which normally felt as smooth as a polished marble, was jagged, like a cliff side. I could barely stand to be in there.

"Pain, Hidan, Kakuzu, Konan, and Sasori, get ready, The Resistance is upon us," Hinata grinned . . . in a way that concerned me.

That's when I saw it; the snap. Hinata's pupils dialated to the point of not existing and then dialated to where there was no white to her eyes. Her disguise shattered, and so did everyone else's, but that didn't really matter now. I acted fast, but she acted faster. I was about to be caught, and I was about to die as bloody a death as the rest had.

The door busted open. Too bad, The Resistance was going to die out as well, if only they would've argued out in the hall a few minutes more.

"Hinata-san!" A loud, almost irritating voice shouted, sounding oblivious and ecstatic. I guess that annoying cheer will stop soon. I waited for the monster to break me in half. Seconds ticked by.

It felt like that scene where a single drop of water hits a raging ocean and manages to smooth it out into flat, expansive sea. Hinata was back to normal. My eyes got impossibly wide. I searched for an explanation. I only got one understandable word.

_Naruto. . ._

**Hinata's POV**

Naruto. That was Naruto. There, in the silly orange and black jumpsuit he always wore. Tears rimmed the lower lids of my eyes. Naruto had stopped me from breaking Atsuko's arm or something else equally bad.

The haze was completely gone. Not a trace of madness was left.

"Hina-chan? 'You in here? Sorry, Sakura is always really paranoid these days, she shouldn't have picked a fight with you guys," Naruto called out to me, as if he knew I was here. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I couldn't help openly gawking at him. He was a little different; the expected muscle growth, maturation of features, and the slight change of voice. But what I couldn't stop staring at was what _hadn't_ changed.

His hair was the exact same color, if a little longer, to the point where it didn't spike up, but actually hung down. His eyes, the same cerulean blue. Almost all of him had stayed the same. It was shocking, but none of it shocked me as much as his expression did. Smiling in a happy and completely unprepared way. It was the dumbest, most defenseless way of approaching a situation: expecting and ready only for the best case scenerio.

_He is still exactly the same._

One look at his face and I knew. If he'd changed, it wasn't very much.

I couldn't make myself turn away, even though I knew he would soon single me out as the person Sakura had been talking about, meaning I would have to speak to him. That and see the defeated look in his eyes once he realized I 'wasn't' me. At the same time, _not_ seeing any unhappiness would also be painful. It would hurt either way.

Atsuko was staring at me. It occured to me just then that she'd been reading my mind the whole time. I decided to ignore her. There's no way I could explain this away. The only issue with her hearing is that she may decide she doesn't like this weak way of thinking and try to kill me. If that's the case, I deserve it, if it's Atsuko, because she wouldn't kill me unless I was truly pathetic. I don't have to worry about her telling anyone, if she has an issue she'll deal with it herself. From the corner of my eye I noticed Atsuko grin. Well, seems like she doesn't mind. That or she's actually planning to kill me. Atsuko shook her head to indicate that no, she wasn't planning on it. That's interesting.

Big hands suddenly grabbed me from behind by the shoulders. At first I didn't know who it was, nor did it matter, because this bastard thought they could grab me and I was going to beat them within an inch of their life. The cold, agressive instinct beaten into me by the Akatsuki was taking over. I swung the person over my shoulder and onto the ground, face up. I had a leg on either side of him, a kunaii to his throat, and my face was inches from his.

I glared into the eyes of the idiot that grabbed me.

It still took me a good half a second to realize just who it was I had pinned to the ground. Kiba's eyes were wide as hell. Kiba? Kiba was dead for sure, right? He'd run off right into the first explosion. Still, even my memory makes mistakes, apparantly. And who could argue with what was right in front of them.

"Hinata," he breathed.

"Who?" I answered automatically.

"Onee-sama, you lost your disguise just a little bit ago. I forgot to tell you about it," Atsuko informed me, looking as if she had meant to not tell me about it.

My eyes flashed down toward Kiba, whose eyes couldn't possibly be wider, and I hesitantly got off of him. To make matters worse, I could've sworn I saw Sasuke start to shift and stretch. He'll be up soon to add to the weirdness and discomfort of this situation.

I was . . . caught? No, that wasn't quite right, but it was close. I glanced over the people in the group that had come with Naruto. Unbelievable. Neji, Shino, TenTen, Shikamaru, and Sakura were just a handful of the faces I recognized. They all looked at me with something easily hundreds of times stronger than surprise. It wasn't anything resembling a glorious reunion. It was silent, except for the scuffing of shoes as Kiba got up. Sakura turned to Naruto.

"That can't be Hinata-chan. I thought she was for a minute, but that can't be what she really looks like, she's nothing like her. She easily could've disguised herself as Hinata-chan. They have a mind reader, and I was thinking about her a lot."

I snickered at this. Sakura glared.

"Yes, because I'm sure we had enough time for her, Atsuko here, to get ridiculously specific details through your thoughts and then we even had enough time for her to dictate such details to me because she was bored of waiting. With all this extra time we had, why not teach me what she looked like? Seriously, why would Atsuko teach me how to transform into Hinata if she'd seen her through your thoughts and could do it much easier? I could've simply transformed into someone you wouldn't notice and let Atsuko do it."

I knew that answer was something that wouldn't help prove I wasn't me, I don't know why I wanted to convince them that I _am_ me. It was probably more the fact that I wanted to point out the stupidity of Sakura's words. God, did I ever hate her. Yesterday's enemy is today's enemy, right?

My thought process was halted when I was suddenly wrapped up in the arms of someone built like a brick shit-house.

My normal reaction was stalled. Whoever it was, they smelled like soap, grass, and river water. I opened my eyes and saw orange. Unfamiliar heat touched my cheeks. I was so disturbed by this reaction that whatever pleasant feelings I might have had by the physical contact was swept away with a wave of sickness. I tried to push away from Naruto, but it didn't work since I wasn't putting any power into it. Naruto definitely beat me when it came to plain-old, non-jutsu-reliant strength, since he looked to be about six three and, like I said earlier, had a pretty well muscled body.

And just like that, everything was crazy. Everyone in The Resistance suddenly accepted that I must be Hinata, simply because Naruto believed it. I was in a massive group hug. Certain people kept their distance, smartly labeling me as unsafe for now, but others, the oblivious idiots like Naruto and Kiba, were trully too close. I imagined the Akatsuki's reaction to this. They were probably expecting a blood bath. Currently, I feel so overwhelmed that I can't think.

Atsuko. Atsuko could help. Atsuko? Please, do something. Anything.

"Anything?" Atsuko whispered, right up next to my ear. She'd already been on it. I was saved. "Not quite. You see, Duck-butt's up and confused as hell. And you didn't ask for me to 'help,' you said to do 'something,' or 'anything.' I'm choosing to get blondie off of you by starting a fight," Atsuko grinned, having fun.

Hell no, Atsuko.

The words didn't feel like mine. They were what I had planned to say but it wasn't like the flaming anger I was feeling. The thought was icy, so cold it was almost pain, and it obviously hurt Atsuko. She cringed, her eyes showing more white than normal. It was probably the only time I'd ever been mad at her, and despite the confusion tainting my thoughts she was still shocked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," she fumbled on her words. That meant it was too late.

That's when I heard the crackle of static and the noise of blades opening. Sasuke was throwing an elemental shuriken.

"Get down!" I shouted. For the most part, everyone dodged left and right, actually. But Naruto knocked me down and covered me so I wouldn't get hurt. I couldn't help glaring at him as he got up, no matter who he was. Surprise flitted across his face. I shoved him aside and got up to stop Stupid.

I ran at Sasuke head on, weapons out, just in case. Sasuke was about to fire up his favorite move, chidori, when I crashed into him from the side. I turned Sasuke over and sat my full weight on his stomach to try to hold him down long enough to for him to actually listen.

"Whatever Atsuko said, disregard it," I was breathing hard, the panic making it hard to get enough oxygen. My long, dark hair grazed the floor on both sides, covering any words Sasuke and I might have. But, as it turns, Sasuke had no words. He simply nodded and sat up. I took that as my que to get off.

"Holy shit. Holy _shit_! It's Sasuke!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke's head jerked up to look at Naruto. Sasuke made a disdainful sound through his teeth. Naruto was smiling his trademark face-splitting grin. After all, his best friend was back and we seemed to be more on his side than against him. Even if not by much.

Sasuke was standing almost immediately. Naruto ran right over and put his arms around me and Sasuke.

"This is amazing. I was sure you guys were dead," Naruto squeezed me tightly. I noticed he didn't do the same to Sasuke but that's probably because I was less likely to have been alive after all this time.

When I looked over to Sasuke I saw him analyzing me. He looked strangely detached, like when he was calculating his chances in a battle, despite the arm Naruto had around his back.

"Ironic," Sasuke said under his breath. I looked at him curiously but he just rolled his eyes. My chest tightened.

He seemed to be taking this all very lightly, like he'd forgotten that he had been about to kill everybody just now, or like he'd forgotten he and Naruto haven't spoken since he left the village, or like he'd forgotten I was the reason he'd been passed out the past few hours.

"Idiot, did you really think I'd have died?" Sasuke said as he pushed Naruto back by the face. He acted no different than when he'd been back in the Village. My eyes widened.

Naruto threw back a defensive insult like he always used to and Sasuke had his hands in his pockets. I felt like I was going to be sick. Too much familiarity.

I swayed and Atsuko was suddenly beside me to catch my fall. After she had caught me she walked away. She was angry at me, probably, but not enough to let me bust my face open.

I went to lean against the wall to watch the situation. Since Sasuke was so easily talking to everyone he'd betrayed the Akatsuki wasn't so uneasy. Sasuke was sort of like my second in command because Atsuko only had interest in me, therefor not the Akatsuki, and so if he thought it was okay and I showed no objection it was considered fine to do. Pain, Konan and Hidan actually started talking to some people I didn't recognize. Pain did more lingering around Konan than actual talking and Hidan was more flirting than anything.

Sasori sat against the wall and resigned himself to keeping watch over Kakuzu, whom was still a little blood thirsty.

After I had checked on everyone my attention returned to Sasuke, the only other former leaf member in the Akatsuki.

I waited for the happy group hug I had received to be forced upon Sasuke. The uncomfortable situation I was expecting to happen ended up not. After all, Sasuke had always been unapproachable, whereas Hina-chan couldn't possibly refuse a group hug from old friends. I sneered.

Rocks scuffing on the ground alerted me to the approach of someone. I looked up, half interested.

After making eye contact with the daring soul who had come forth to speak to me I laughed. Of course it would be him. Why should he be wary of someone so inferior?

"How've you been, Neji-nii-san? Is life treating you well?" To anyone but Neji, the ironicism of my comment would've been obvious.

"Hinata, I honestly didn't think you would make it. I suppose I could say it's pretty good to see you. I guess it makes more sense that you've lived seeing as you are a slave to the Akatsuki."

A slight twitch in my face showed my irritation. This bastard.

"Not right now, but later. Later I'll show you exactly why I am nothing to scoff at, Nii-san," I smiled in hollow enjoyment.

I had the pleasure of seeing Neji shiver before composing himself.

"Did any other Hyuuga make it? What about my dearest little sister?" I asked, as emotionless as before.

"I'm all that's left."

"Good," my eyes widened as I realized what I'd said. Relief and the word 'good.' Both involuntary, both leading to me further realizing I might just be the heartless thing I believe myself, half the time, to be.

Neji stared at me with scrutinizing eyes.

I stood, having little left to say.

"Well, Neji, since you're all that's left there are some things I'd like to show you later. 'Found out some neat tricks over the years, we'll have to see if you're truly a genius," I smiled again. This time it was painful. It was a regretful smile, a sad smile. No matter what kind of smile it was, it hurt to make and it didn't reach my eyes. One of the only times lying hasn't been fun.

More people I knew where coming over now and I barely glanced at them before turning back to Neji.

"We'll all have to get together again sometime. You, me, and all my friends," this time, the irony that wasn't supposed to ironic was not lost on him. For some reason, I could almost feel the quotes on 'friends.'

Again, the lie was painful. It was painful and I knew why.

I was heading over to the large group surrounding my more social subordinates when Naruto spoke up.

"Alright, well, they obviously can't really be enemies, so let's set 'em up in the guest rooms. Keep your eyes on them, though. They might not be safe," Naruto smiled as he said this to the group he came in with. I was a little shocked to see that, even though he was smiling good-naturedly, talking in an almost joking tone, he was giving them a serious order. Maybe he wasn't quite so entirely defenseless.

**Sasuke's POV**

It was almost funny, seeing the Akatsuki dine peacefully in a full blown feast with the object of their obsession; the nine tails. Not that the scene wasn't funny in other ways, like how Sakura desperately keeps trying to sit next to me only to be thwarted by some other previous friend coming to speak to me, or how Atsuko was so fixated on Shikamaru and his technique, which made him highly uncomfortable. He didn't need to worry so much, she just wanted to know how he had almost killed Hidan. And when some girls I didn't recognize came over to flirt with Sasori, I nearly spit out my drink. He'd told them to go away, after a brief analysis, because they wouldn't even make for useful puppets. And how Naruto was staring so stupidly at Hinata, although I'd file that more as annoying.

He shouldn't be allowed to stare at her like that. She looked extremely irritated that Naruto kept trying to get over to talk to her. She was obvious, to everyone but Naruto, about trying to get away from him. For some reason, I was happy about that. His presence certainly does nothing to help her. He should just stay the hell away. I felt my eyes widen at the intensity of my thoughts.

"Wrong," Atsuko said from behind me. I actually jumped. Why should I be so concerned over how Naruto was looking at her, to the point where I had relaxed in enemy territory?

"We need to talk, dumbass."

Normally, Atsuko didn't talk to me unless it was in Hinata's wishes or for Hinata's best interest. I nodded and left soundlessly with Atsuko. We walked until there was no noise to be heard from the direction of the celebration.

"Alright, the closest person is a hundred yards away in a cave tunnel that doesn't immediately connect to this one." Atsuko turned to me, waiting for a response.

"Fine. What do you need me for?"

Atsuko turned away to stare at the small filter of light coming from a hole in the ground above. It was dark out, I'd say about near the end of the day. A few minutes ticked by, and Atsuko seemed to be seriously thinking about what she wanted to say.

"I'm glad she's back," she whispered, completely ignoring my question. I was aggravated with this until I realized that I completely agreed with her.

I nodded.

"I noticed it. When you saw Naruto holding Hinata-sama you were not quite happy, were you?"

I briefly glared at her before she gave up on getting my answer.

"Earlier, I teased Hinata-sama and told her I'd started something, because I thought she'd think it funny. I knew at the time you were going to try to kill them, and I knew that you'd heard me tell her about starting something, so that you'd use that as the excuse to attack and get out of trouble later, but I didn't know how much that Naruto kid meant. His presence certainly does help her. I noticed that, too, the flinch just now," Atsuko stated simply, not even properly looking at me.

"How does it help, exactly?" I sounded more concerned and irritated than bored.

Atsuko smiled slowly.

"Today, when you were out, she hit the proverbial wall."

I suddenly couldn't get any air into my lungs. Everything important I felt I had to say came out breathless.

"She _what? _You mean _today_ she snapped? That's not possible. Sh-she was just in there, and no one's _dead_."

"You still think his presence is a bad thing?"

. . .

The full meaning of that hit with insane, crushing force. Atsuko smiled sadistically.

"I see you get it. If you play nice, Hinata-sama will stay here, we'll never see the comatose-sadistic persona she takes on after she goes crazy ever again, no one will die, and in doing this you'll atone for all the sins you've commited against Hinata-sama. You took away happiness, Sasuke-san, now give it back."

I would've mocked anyone else for this little speech, but Atsuko could easily destroy me and everything that even proved my existence. Not just because she was stronger, but because she would do it if it destroyed her and all else.

I couldn't help sinking to the ground as I realized that _Naruto was going to beat me_. 'Ironic,' I had said. Ironic that Naruto would be fighting me again, and that he would be the loser again. But Atsuko approves of Naruto, and I can't touch him, and Hinata is not emotionless again. I thought she snapped out of her cold stage to protect the Akatsuki, but I've haven't seen her like that in a long time. I've all but lost.

Atsuko stared contemptuosly down at me. She was done with her business, so she would be heading back soon. I sat against the rough wall and stared unseeingly at the floor. The tap of Atsuko's footsteps started, then stopped in front of me.

"You know, she was _smiling_ when everyone was hugging her. I don't think she noticed it, but she wasn't anything less than _happy._"

The tapping continued towards the exit again.

**Hinata's POV**

Naruto was about to have me cornered. There were no people between he and I that I could grab and talk to and no hallways to run down. Damn it, I need to go after Sasuke and Atsuko. They'd slipped out ten minutes ago and I've been too busy dodging _him_ to go see them. If I'd went, Naruto would have been sure to follow. I trust Atsuko was fixing things with Sasuke and not making them worse, so I didn't have to go, but I _really _wanted to. I stopped trying to get away as I became aware of what I just thought. I wanted to go. Who the hell was this guy to stop me?

"Hinata-chan, I've been trying to talk-"

"Sorry, Uzumaki-san, I have business I need to take care of right now. I need to spy on two of my subordinates."

For a minute Naruto's eyes were huge and surprised, but then he started laughing. I raised my chin, indignant. Was he laughing because he didn't think I was capable of being anyone's superior?

"Alright, but I'll need to come with you."

I couldn't help the slight irritated smile at my being right, but my mouth quickly returned to a straight line.

" 'Knew it. I knew you would want to tag along. Still, my answer is no." I was finding it ridiculously easy to talk to him. It kind of floored me, as I'd never been able to accomplish this before.

"Oh? I wasn't asking, though, " Naruto stated teasingly.

"Shouldn't have done that," I heard someone say, probably Hidan.

"I'm going, and you aren't coming with me. However, I haven't had fun in a while so if you can stop me from reaching the exit I want to take and have me stuck for over five seconds you can go with me."

Naruto accepted my challenge. I loved the heady feeling of excitement that swept over me. This would be a fun opportunity to rub in how strong I'd gotten.

I was all ready to go until I remembered I'd forgotten to establish the rules.

"Wait. I forgot about this so, the rules are: it's one on one, no assistance or clones of any kind, no _immediate_ rematches, and, otherwise, no holding back, so feel free 'unleash the beast' so to speak," a wicked grin stretched across my face. We both knew I meant the real beast and that 'no immediate rematches' meant feel free to challenge me anytime after you lose and want to get me back. Naruto's grin matched mine. I was surprised he was going to fight me, but then again, when had Naruto ever refused a fight?

"Ready, set, GO!"

And like that I was struck stupid. _Atsuko_ was starting the match. I sighed. I guess that meant I could take as much time as I wanted to stretching this out.

Unyielding arms had locked around my shoulders, in a way that affectively restricted most movement. I grinned back at Naruto before easily extracting myself from the situation. Naruto exhibited some slight surprise.

"You aren't being serious. You'll be unconscious in a few seconds if you don't play rough," I warned him.

Disappointingly, you could tell after a few moments that Naruto really was getting a little sick as he realized that, to win, he'd have to hurt me. And even after all the trouble I'd gone through to get him to have to hit me, he always managed a painless counter move. Maybe he'd hit back if I started hitting.

I decided to do just that. It really was a shame he was going so easy on me. His dodging was well beyond expert level, and, if Naruto's skills held the same pattern as before, his offense would be devastating.

It took a while and, when it did finally happen, it was barely an opening, but I took it. I hit Naruto with a blow that had no real purpose behind it except to over stimulate the nerve cells. Every touch would be amplified a thousand times. Bluntly speaking, a flick on the knee is turned into a stab to the lung.

I gave Naruto three seconds before the pain of blocking would make him pull out his real power.

Six minutes later and Naruto was still fighting, covering up his pain so well I would almost assume he wasn't feeling it. Almost. It was about five minutes in when I noticed he was leaving more and more openings. I was waiting for one big enough that would allow me to hit him with something that would make him feel a pain several hundred times worse than death. If anything, it would bring out the Kyuubi.

Thirty seconds later, the opportunity I'd been waiting for appeared. I was ready to hit Naruto with a chakra wave that rendered people at full strenth unable to stop screaming. I lunged, and stopped a few centimeters from his chest.

I couldn't do it. No, I didn't _want_ to do it. I wanted him to treat me as an equal without my having to beat the idea into him. Not something I could expect rationally, I know, but I wanted it that way.

I couldn't lose, though, and I wouldn't resign. I doubted he would, but what could be the harm in asking?

"Want to give up, Uzumaki-san?"

He smiled, "No way in hell, _Hyuuga-_san."

I sighed, actually regretting what I was going to do.

"Fine, night, Naruto-kun," I whispered before hitting him in the chest with just enough force to put him out for a little while, about an hour. Belatedly, I wondered what time it was.

The people I vaguely recognized from back at the village were stunned and talking in a quiet, confused chatter. Everyone that I actually _knew_ had gone back to wherever they usually went. The celebration was pretty much over, with only about fifteen people left. There was a slight cheer from my group, really just Hidan making a lot of noise and Kakuzu grinning like a psycho underneath his mask. I silenced him with a glare.

"It was no fun winning that way. He wanted me to knock him unconscious so he wouldn't have to really fight me, but I did just what he wanted because I have business to attend to," I clenched and unclenched my fists. Bastard, making a fool of me. Now I looked even more like a weakling that no one should take seriously. Like an angry kitten that you let think is really hurting you.

"You're still just as frustrating," I told the unconscious Naruto.

And, without feeling the need to explain anything to anybody, I walked over to Atsuko.

"You better not start anything while I'm gone," I informed her as I passed. She nodded. Her face was far more serious than I had expected. It made me stop. I grabbed Atsuko by her elbow and turned her around.

"I'm not mad anymore. So . . . don't be so upset about it. I shouldn't have acted like that over Na- . . . something so stupid."

I took off down the hall and went to look for Sasuke. I still had issues to work out with him, too. The Akatsuki wouldn't work as well with those two unhappy and I still had a goal to accomplish here. I'm no longer sure what it is, but there's still a goal, but I'll think about that later.

It took about five minutes to find him. Well, I didn't need to _find_ him, really. Sasuke was sitting with his arms on his knees and his head to the ceiling. I sat next to him and waited for him to say something. Maybe yell at me, even though he hasn't done that in forever. The silence actually was slightly uncomfortable, and I felt this odd crushing guilt. I decided I was going to have to be the first to talk.

"Sasuke-"

"I'm sorry," he said, still looking at the ceiling.

What? How unlike him. My mind sorted through a million possible motives he had for this and a billion replies I could offer.

"Huh?" turned out to be all I could get out.

Sasuke turned to me and smiled slightly.

"It's not my place to act like I have the last couple days. The thing with . . . Hidan isn't any of my business," Sasuke went on in a slightly sad sounding voice. I may be imagining this and the sad tone, but I'm pretty sure it felt like acid to say Hidan's name to Sasuke. After all, it was a possibility that Sasuke really did kind of have a thing for me. I sighed. I didn't want to deal with this.

My head jerked up and a wave of memory had me swaying sharply to the side. _I loved it; loved baiting _them_ with what they couldn't have._ And now I didn't want to deal with it? Why do I keep changing? Like I told pain, if I change easy, then I've always been like that somewhere. Or maybe I hadn't changed, really, in the first place? Everything that has happend to me since recently has been too contradictory to make any sense.

One way one day, another the next. Weak and quiet, crazy and dark, and whatever I am now. Such severe twists in personality for periods of time far too short. Oh yeah, but I was talking to Sasuke . . .

"If even you don't think it's your business, then it obviously isn't. It's alright, I guess, so stop acting strange."

"Okay."

It got rather quiet then. I had done what I wanted to do and it even went better than I had expected, but I still couldn't leave. I don't know what it is yet, but there is something I want to say.

"Sasuke," I finally whispered.

"Hm?"

"I mean it."

Sasuke looked up at me questioningly.

"Mean what," he asked after it had been silent for some time.

"Stop acting strange. You don't talk to me anymore, not really. I've decided that I miss it."

Sasuke's eyes were wider than I'd ever seen them.

"You . . . what?"

"You heard. I suppose I miss the abuse," I laughed lightly. Before I was leader, Sasuke was mean to me, as if mean could possibly cover what he was to me, but also funny, nice, and good company as well. Now it was alway , 'Yes, Hinata-sama,' or, 'Of course, Hinata-sama,' or some other bull shit that I only like when I'm crazy. Not Mad, but just the plain, normal crazy. I laughed silently at myself. I had my own self-organized levels of crazy.

"You . . . miss . . . the abuse?" Sasuke sounded disbieliving. He stared at me blankly, eyes still wide.

"Yeah, I think I do." I smiled and got up to leave.

"Wait a minute!"

I turned towards Sasuke.

"What is it?"

Sasuke looked away from the ceiling to stare directly at me.

"I didn't mean it."

I smiled. It had reversed.

"Mean what," I asked after it had been silent for some time.

"The thing about Hidan, _it is _my business. Don't do it again."

He was completely serious. The heat rushed to my cheeks quicker than last time. He was acting like before. Crushing happiness made me want to scream or jump up and down or do some other stupid thing to release enough happiness so that it wouldn't be quite so painful.

"Yeah, I don't think I should, Sensei," I smiled, in a completely sincere way, and left.

**Sasuke's POV**

Without a doubt, she hasn't looked that happy since before. Not before as in before the day Konoha was destroyed, she'd probably never be quite as happy as she was before _that_ particular incident ever again, but as happy as she'd been before she'd been made to suffer being host to the tailed beasts.

That Gaara kid wasn't able to sleep and Naruto was only so well off because of the seal and it still kills him a little every time the Kyuubi gets out. And they were only dealing with one. One beast takes away years of life everytime it's in power.

That's happend to Hinata four times, not counting today because she didn't really lose control, or maybe it's yesterday now, and you can see the effects worsen each time.

The first time it happend she became minorly sadistic afterwards with relatively few noticable differences aside from that. That's when we found out she didn't even realize why she blacked out or why Zetsu was dead.

The second time she killed my former teammates and afterwards she started to lose control over her memory and over other things she used to be able to do easily.

The third time was the one with the most deaths, the rest of the deaths, and the most gore. Everyone thought that it had gone too far and that she needed to be subdued. Everyone except Atsuko because she thought Hinata would kill us all if we didn't stay away, maybe still kill us even if we tried to run. She'd been right. She would've annihilated us all if she hadn't suddenly passed out. When she had passed out, Pain decided to kill her. He moved too quickly and unexpectedly for it to be prevented, but Hinata stopped it. An automatic sand barrier when she was utterly defenseless.

When she woke she seemed somber and rather on-edge. She'd known the deaths where linked to her in some way.

The third time still didn't compare to the last time. No one had been around for the last time. Hinata had been alone while everyone in the Akatsuki had left to find a way to extract the beasts from the girl in question since usual methods were failing.

When we got back, the base had become powder. And, now that I think about, this last time might have had many more deaths, the third time just had the most deaths that we could account for. Hinata was covered head to toe in blood, it was literally dripping off her clothes. Her face looked painted and she had burns running up and down her arms.

Hinata had been laughing. It was the most disturbing thing I'd ever heard, ever seen, and to this day is still the most horrifying memory I have. She'd been on her side, looking like she was ready to fall asleep, looking perfectly content, and looking straight at us. She'd grinned at us and started laughing. It was so disgusting I had wanted to hit her until she passed out so she'd stop laughing, but at the same time I didn't want to touch her. The real problem I'd had with her had been her eyes. Everything about her at that time had been so unaware, so out of it, so _not like Hinata_, everything except her eyes. Eyes that seemed far too lucid. Her eyes seemed awake, and aware, and madly happy . . . and they were Hinata's.

The bloody figure locked Hinata's eyes on me. It had smiled in a mangled way I knew was impossible for a human face, splitting the sides of her mouth in a way I was sure Hinata would be able to feel. I had jerked backwards and was vomiting even before I heard it speak.

_"Now all I need is the moon,"_ spoken by Hinata's voice. The meaning had been unclear, but it gave me a bad feeling.

When Hinata woke up later I had already made Atsuko go clean her up and put her in her new bed. Everyone was prepared to explain away why we were in a new base, but Hinata never asked.

She was different and the Akatsuki was afraid. She didn't apologize for anything. She never smiled, pleasantly, anyway. She was a walking time bomb.

It took about a week for us to find that she wasn't the same Hinata anymore. It was the day that made her the leader.

**XXXxxxXXX**

_The screaming down the hall had, by now, definitely drawn all of the remaining Akatsuki to the source of it. Hinata had been acting strange ever since last time, but I was not prepared for what I was to see._

_ Hinata stood at the mouth of the base's entrance with Pain, limp,bloodied, and screaming, held out at arms length by her hand. _

_ "Hinata, what the hell is going on?" I screamed. Hinata turned to look at me and that's when I saw it._

_ Her eyes were blank, dull as that of a doll's, with an ever-changing eye color. Purple, red, white. And changing shape inside the color. Ripples, shuriken, wheel of raindrops, blank._

_ Rinnegan, __Mangekyō Sharingan, Sharingan, Byaakugan. _

_ The colors mixed with different shapes then. Purple with wheels of raindrops, red and blank, white with shuriken or ripples. The colors and patterns began morphing together. Pink with ripples and shuriken._

_ I couldn't move. This was something I would have expected to be happening when she'd been bloody and on the ground a while ago, not now._

_ A violet Mangekyō Rinnegan puts me in the most pain I've ever been in. Hell couldn't possibly have anything on this. I could see Hinata's face, distorted through the haze of pain, looking slightly unhappy. A relief, when comparing it to the blank face and the crazy face. I am just thinking I am going to pass out when I feel a quick blow that makes the world around me fade._

_ When I wake up Hinata is beside me, white-eyed and vaguely resembling herself from before she attacked me. I sigh. It's silent for a minute and I don't feel like talking. Not to this Hinata, if you can give that shell of a person a name anymore. I feel a pang as I think that I might just be losing her to the parasites that have slowly leached away her personality. _

_ I notice something different about her. She looks different from how she has for the last week. She looks alive and almost like her old self. Before the tailed beasts._

_ "I'm sorry."_

_ I was shocked. Not only did she talk to me but Hinata knew what she did. I was brought out of this thought when Hinata was suddenly close to my face. She started whispering to me as quick as she could._

_ "I was on my way outside, and I knew it was dark. I only needed to go when it was dark. I needed to do . . . something," she glares with an un-Hinata-like fury at the edge of the bed as she barely manages to spit that out, " That's when Pain came and all I remember is that he was in my way. I got him out of the way somehow. Then you show up and you were also . . . in the way of . . . something. Next thing I know I'm fully lucid and you're screaming like . . .," her hands are shaking. Yeah, it wasn't pleasant to _feel_ it, either. "So I knocked you out."_

_ It's silent. Why did she feel the need to tell me this? Why did she feel like she had to whisper it and why was she shaking so bad?_

_ My eyes snap back as the shaking stops. _

_ "Ignore what I just told you," the beasts say, using Hinata's voice. _

_ Everything is clear then. 'All I need is the moon.'_

_ What are the tailed beasts if not just fragments of the ten tails? The ten tails' body is supposedly in the moon. So, since the ten tails is practically complete, all it needs is it's body. It makes sense. The ten tails definitely wouldn't need the nine tails with so many pieces already in place._

_ It's only after I get up a few hours later that I find out Pain has resigned as leader. He wants out. Hinata volunteers and no one objects. She makes Pain stay. Later she recalls it as her being made leader, when she has brief bouts of conscious, slightly mangled thought._

**XXXxxxXXX**

I didn't even know Atsuko was there until she started talking.

"You don't really think that she's been possessed by the ten tails all this time do you?"

I glanced up at her from the corner of my eye, waiting for her to gloat. She'd won this time.

Atsuko smiled.

"Geez, you've been hiding that one forever. Sometimes I can't tell if what you're thinking is actually what you are thinking or not. That shield you've got is quite strong. I mean, _HOLY SHIT!_ How has that been hidden from me for this long? I want to gloat, believe me, but I can't really since all I did was accidently walk by and notice your thoughts weren't guarded.

"Not only that, but now I know you can choose what I hear if you pay attention. How many times did I ask you what happend that made Pain want to quit? And you said and thought, 'I don't know.' And I couldn't find it out from Pain because he doesn't have any memory of it. God, that pisses me off! How can I gloat in the face of such a loss?" Atsuko ranted.

"Well, to catch me off guard is nothing to laugh at so, in it's own way, it's a small victory. And, in regards to the ten tails, I think it's pretty much just as I was thinking. For a while there, it had near total control because Hinata believed the actions were her own. As for the thing with the moon, that's kind of a stretch. Although, anything else wouldn't make as much sense since I recall that she had told me that it had needed to be at night."

Atsuko stared seriously at nothing in particular until I had finished. After a while of silence she spoke.

"Maybe the moon is just a symbol of a missing piece. The moon is the body. One would think they need a body, but why aim for the original when you already have a perfectly functioning moon right here. Hinata-sama, I mean. So, by moon, they could have meant the nine tails."

I had to acknowledge that it was a good point but why would it have to be dark for her to leave?

"It could've been something meant to mislead you, Duck-butt-san."

My fist clenched and, as usual, I barely restrained myself from punching her.

"Geez, you are so easy to aggrivate. Then again, you wouldn't be so fun otherwise."

Soon, we were so busy arguing that we didn't notice the person walking towards us. Atsuko was pulling my hair in an attempt to make me bald and I was lashing out in every direction in an attempt to get her off me.

"Explain."

Time seemed to freeze and a sick feeling hit me in the pit of my stomach. I would imagine Atsuko felt the same.

"What does the ten tails have to do with me?" Hinata asked.

**Sorry for the wait. REAALLLLYY SORRRYYY . . . **


End file.
